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When I was in elementary school, my parents were the picture of parental involvement most people would probably draw. Active members of the PTA, they went on class trips, attended Parent Teacher conferences, sent baked goods for bake sales, took talent show photos, and made costumes. Homework was always voluntarily checked, and signed daily. By the time I reached high school, parent-teacher conferences were no longer mandatory. Homework was a 'Don't ask, don't tell' endeavor, report cards were sufficient contact with the school, and guidance counselors were entrusted with navigating me through graduation requirements. I was near the end of the second semester of my junior year when my parents found out we had a full-time college officer at my school, whom their college-bound daughter had yet to even acknowledge. What happened to my picture perfect parents as I got older? Did they not care? Did they have better things to do once I started 9th grade? Why weren't they still involved? Weren't they still involved?
Obviously parents do care about their children. They do want the best for them. They want better for their children than what they had. But how do they get there? If I'm a parent who's never filled out a college application, how do I help my child fill one out? If I don't know how to organize my own work and responsibilities, what model do I represent for my child? What if as a parent, I come from a culture where no one worried about education because kids learned how to work for the benefit of the whole family? What if I come from a culture of gender bias? We absolutely must consider the perspective and circumstances of our families if we are to reach them with any level of success. According to the Parent and Family Involvement in Education report published by the National Center for Education Statistics (2016), parental involvement was defined as "attending PTA meetings, parent-teacher conferences, school/class events, volunteering, fundraising, and meetings with guidance counselors" and the data there shows no real difference between the socioeconomic classes in participation except in volunteering, school/class events, and fundraising. Categories that, if a family is struggling to make ends meet, may seem completely frivolous in the function of schooling from that family's perspective. It can also be noted that the report's data shows only half of public school parents were satisfied with school staff interaction, and that same satisfaction decreased as grade level increased. Sound familiar? We have to remember that as educators, when we invite parents into our realm (education), we have home court advantage. It can be intimidating, and out of the comfort zone of our guests, who we should be welcoming as roomates.
As teachers we know how it feels to be outside of our comfort zones. At some point in our professional careers we will be asked to teach something unfamiliar, or to spearhead some initiative we've never tried before. Some of us love the challenge, and jump right in. Others need encouragement, while still others shut down or shy away in complete avoidance. Now imagine your students' families coming from all walks of life and life experiences. Even in communities we perceive to be homogeneous, we must recognize the potential for complexities within family situations. Whether the boundary is economic, language, cultural, or otherwise schools need to be willing to bend a little to show their parents hospitality. Help them understand that education is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Often times in meetings, teachers are either met with deference or hostility because of their position as "learned expert." However, neither apathetic complicitness or belligerent animosity will get anyone anywhere. Schools and parents both want the same things. So why not help each other play to each party's strengths?
At the secondary level of schooling it's not likely we'll get parents eager to relive their failures in Algebra I or even English Lit. There's even a good chance that they see your class as {gasp} completely irrelevant for life, especially if they struggled with it in their own classroom experiences. Their bitterness may not even have anything to do with you or the way you teach, or even what you teach. It could just be their perception of it. On open school night, perhaps you might present something interactive instead of didactic. At parent-teacher conferences, go over a piece of student work by explaining the goals of the assignment in relation to the student's intellectual growth and what targets the student met, and how you plan to help her/him meet the ones that were missed. Don't expect the parent to be able to fill in for you at home, no matter how easy you perceive the work. It's not about your perception, it's about enlisting this parent as a partner in education. What feels crummy to parents is when we point out a student's failure and have no joint solutions. Parents will internalize the failure as their own, and if they have no understanding of the problem or ideas for how to help, parents may feel helpless and resentful that some snobby outsider just told them that they failed at their most important job - raising successful children.
Some schools have taken a family approach to getting parents involved in academics by offering homework clinics for parents & students to attend together on weekends or afterschool. Another interesting idea is to have a parent resource center open on designated mornings or evenings where parents may come to explore books or take courses designed to help them with the academic socialization of their kids. What is academic socialization? We used to call them Study Skills Seminars, or Organization 101, Navigating the System, etc. The things that we learn by having someone guide us, and mentor us as we practice them on our own. Not everyone can be the parent they've never had, especially if there were no surrogate models to follow. How does one apply for college? With all the scholarship opportunities out there, handing parents a dictionary volume of generic lists is not going to achieve the same results as offering a workshop that provides some guiding tips for finding funding sources that are most fitting for their child and their personal circumstances. Does a student seem to miss all of the deadlines you give, lose supplies, arrive late to everything? Could that student be living in a disorganized home? It may be a circumstance best left to guidance and social services, or it could be something as simple as holding an organizational workshop for parents and students to organize their lives and set calendars together so they are aware of each other's activities and interests. Are parents not getting notices, yet seem to be consumed with their devices and technology? Collect parent email addresses, and social media handles. Even when cell phone numbers change or phones are lost, people still seem to be able to keep up with their social media. Set up a school twitter or a separate teacher twitter/facebook/instagram/snapchat - there's probably new platforms launching as I write this - and give your updates in 140 characters or less. Better yet, assign your students to do it, but make sure they tag you. Open a private group for just your students, just your parents, or for both together.
And the most important thing of all... LISTEN. Listen to what your parents say, and don't say. Recognize when to read between the lines and when their silence speaks volumes. Parents need to know that we hear them and value their input, regardless of their backgrounds and experiences. If they are not talking or contributing to the conversation, why not? Do they believe that what they say will either be used against them, or that it will be ridiculed and/or disregarded? While we're on the topic of conversing productively, it's important to note that translated notices are great. However, if your event/meeting will be conducted only in English, parents still won't feel welcome to attend or empowered to contribute. This is where grant writing, fundraising, and lobbying sources like Donors Choose come in. There is so much technology developing in the real-time, on-demand translation realm right now, I'm willing to bet teachers and schools could find some way to harness the capability of devices and apps like this one from Waverly Labs, or this app from iTranslate Voice, or this free app that could make PowerPoint Presentations accessible as well.
In the end, remember that you and your families have the same end goals in mind: a happy, healthy, well-adjusted human that will inherit the planet we leave behind. We're all humans with our baggage of emotions and pride, but we must remain focused on our students' best interests. You may have to remind your parents of this as well. The best way is to recognize your position of power as expert, and use it as way to elevate your parents' perception of themselves as an equal partner in education.
For more resources on parent engagement and academic socialization see "My Favorite Things" in the side bar to the left.
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Noel, A., Stark, P., and Redford, J. (2016). Parent and Family Involvement in Education, From the National Household Education Surveys Program of 2012 (NCES 2013-028.REV2), National Center for Education Statistics, Institute of Education Sciences, U.S. Department of Education. Washington, DC. Retrieved [date] from http://nces.ed.gov/pubsearch
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